Revising Sentences Using the Paramedic Method
Read about the Paramedic Method from Richard Lanham's Revising Prose
Basic Steps of the Paramedic Method (slightly modified)
- Circle all the “to be” verbs.
- Circle all the prepositions.
- Focus on sentences one at a time that have circles (particularly to be verbs).
- Ask "Where's the action?" Ask, "Who's Kicking Who? Clarify the real "agent" (subject) and the real "action" (verb).
- Revise the sentence putting these two--the agent and action (subject and verb)--together. Be sure to use an active verb.
Other helpful steps:
--Write out separate sentences you are revising on a blank screen or piece of paper.
--Read your revised versions of sentences aloud (with emphasis and feeling) to see if they make sense and flow well.
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Principles of Revising Sentences
(In each case, clear subject and active verb have been highlighted)
Use an ACTIVE verb with a clear SUBJECT—put the subject first:
An account was opened by Mrs. Simms.
Mrs. Simms opened an account.
Squeeze long verb phrases into single ACTIVE verbs:
The departure of the fleet is thought to be necessarily conditional on the weather.
The fleet's departure depends upon the weather.
Avoid "shun" words—nominalization
My recommendation is for a larger budget.
I recommend a larger budget.
Revise all "expletive" sentences beginning with "there is" or "there are" or "this is."
There is a certain possibility that Joe will visit before Thanksgiving.
Joe may visit before Thanksgiving.
Shift verbs to the positive from the negative:
Do not accept bids that are not signed.
Accept only signed bids.
See Guide on Conciseness for other trimming techniques and for example sentences to edit using the Paramedic Method
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